Top 10 Months of the Past 12 Months

–John Caruso


In determining a system with which to order the past twelve months, it is essential to take full advantage of current technology and not shy away from shameless self promotion. Realizing this, the objective then became calculating the seasonal pattern of internet news media promoting Diary River through subliminal journalism. Specifically, we utilize the archive feature of Google News to retrieve news stories citing both “dairy” and “river” published in the selected months. The results, including a link the ‘most relevant story’ and commentary, are shown below.

Writing this review on the last day of November 2006, I felt it only fair to include December of 2005 in the running. This adjustment turned out to be moot as December came in at #11 in the ranking.


January 2006

# distinct stories: 198

Top Story: “Waco, dairies settle in manure-runoff case”

Comments: Not wasting any time January 2006 starts off the year, and countdown, with a modest but concentrated amount of news stories about Mid Western farming. This trend was not surprising and did continue throughout the analysis.

February 2006

# distinct stories: 198 – though tied with January, February is ranked higher as it is more recent.

Top Story: “If it wasn’t for a bunch of dairy cows, and for a little sneakiness on Dean Oliver’s part, he might never have become an eight-time world champion tie-down roper.”

Comments: Reading this top story, you have to wonder if the grass is not always greener in certain parts of the country. “…For a few years, I worked on dairy farms and stuff, and I would practice tying their calves at night when they weren’t around…”

April 2006

# distinct stories: 227


Comments: This top story brings to light a flaw in our model that is caused by subscription news stories which may include “dairy” and “river” in the complete text – but not the abstract to which unsubscribing researchers have access. It is a battle I did not choose to fight.

March 2006

# distinct stories: 240

Top Story: “Oklahoma chain opens its first location south of the Red River”

Comments: Here’s to chicken fried steak!

May 2006

# distinct stories: 249

Top Story: “Divers search for historic Dairy Queen sign blown away by April tornado”

Comments: It seems that Diary Queen signs are not tornado-proof. Note the tornado was April 13th though the article was published May 5th. This brings up the question of time lag in the results. However, as November 2006 showed an impressive performance through only the November 30th publishing date, this lag does not appear significant enough to require additional analysis.

July 2006

# distinct stories: 283


Comments: Mr. Risebrought seems a little full of himself, even in the short abstract provided here.

November 2006

# distinct stories: 331

Top Story: “Things to do tonight and beyond”

Comments: One of the few stories not taking place in the Central US. It is clear this story slipped in by referring to a “Dairy Road” as opposed to a genuine dairy.

June 2006

# distinct stories: 378

Top Story: “Bid to switch water”

Comments: KOK clearly needs to get in touch with one Tony Sawers as his water diversionary actions appear to be nothing less than revolutionary.

September 2006

# distinct stories: 888


Comments: For only $2.95 one can read the full text, undoubtedly detailing the expectations for an upcoming town meeting regarding the future vote on the “Interim Animal Feedlot and Manure Management Ordinance.”

August 2006

# distinct stories: 1,450

Top Story: “Henry G. Hahnenkamp Dairy farmer operated retail stores”

Commentary: Rounding out the countdown is an obit of a self employed dairy farmer. Though his business was sold back in 1955, we admire his ingenuity and dedication to the trade.


While this countdown points to a clear geographic focus of Dairy River attention in the past twelve months, the general upward trend through time suggests that the word is indeed being spread.

There are only so many months that can pass before the general public finally buckles under the increasing pressure of the “dairy AND river” articles in the internet news medium. It is after that point when Dairy River truly becomes a self sufficient animal feeding off of the hunger of the population.

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