Volume 1

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Publication Date: July 3, 2006.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt is (not) a Rell Person
–Andrew Wasson
There are two main goals of this essay. The first is to determine whether the song “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt” is based on the life of a real person. The second is to determine (regardless of Schmidt’s existence) the origin of the song.

How Awesome is Royal Trux?
–Steve Wright
Ask not how awesome is Royal Trux; ask in what particular ways Royal Trux is awesome.

Interview with MC Hacksaw Jim Duggan
–John Crouch
Dairy River contributor John Crouch sat down with Wizzerd of Rhyme’s MC Hacksaw Jim Duggan to discuss Yo! MTV Raps, Plymouth Rock, and the benefit of hanging suits on wire coat hangers.

The Finer Things: The Ice Age
–Doug Bennett
In DSB’s first installment of his The Finer Things column, DSB examines the sorry state of current ice cubes and suggests a paradigm-shift that will surely be the new standard for all ice-cubes for years to come.

Sales
–John Caruso
In an excerpt from Caruso’s forthcoming book, Sales, Caruso subtly lays the groundwork for future work and the rest of the book.