Volume 8: The Future Of…

I just learned of an AMAZING way that you can INVEST IN YOUR FUTURE!

It involves an easy five step method that you can do at home, in a park, or even while asleep! It will make you rich within minutes! The first step is to buy five pounds of pure Brazilian chocolate from a licensed chocolatier. Because of the state attorney general, that’s all I can tell you over the phone. To learn steps 2-5, you have to read Dairy River #8 (The Future Of…), then text INVEST to Takery for a self-addressed stamped envelope containing the latest poll results!

Publication Date: August 17, 2010

The Future of What

–Steve Wright
Through the lens of Unwound’s classic 1995 record “The Future of What”, Steve Wright explains how you can invest in your future by (1) rejecting the future; (2) rejecting certain futures; or (3) accepting the future after a lifetime of rejecting the future. Send a SASE to Dairy River, care of Takery to receive a catalog of business opportunities today.

The Future of the Future

–Matt Diamond
We had to do it.  You expected it.  We had to deliver.  Matt Diamond provides his future of the future.  Follow Matt Diamond’s up to the second updates on the future by sending a Snuggie in a self-addressed stamped envelope to Dairy River, keyword Takery.

The Future of Social Theory

–Ari Berenbaum
In his piece, Berenbaum successfully predicts the future of social theory. By providing a faithful representation of the strands of social theory in their development, Berenbaum weaves these strands together to create an artful tapestry of what social theory will be in the next century. Guaranteed.

The Future of the Finer Things

–Doug Bennett
Bennett establishes a “Finer Things Lifecycle” which he then abstracts out to the year 2025. Invest in your future now by following the simple principles that Bennett describes. Text FINER to keyword Dairy River to receive a self-addressed stamped envelope containing just a few of Bennett’s keywords.

A Convolute on the Future

–Andrew Wasson
Recently, I had the opportunity to comb through Takery’s personnel files and found Takery’s folder on “the Future.” Once I made it through the extensive press clippings on Back to the Future, I set to documenting the other sets of ephemera with this as the result.

To the Editor

–Robin Sinhababu
Mr. Sinhababu comments on the meta-aspects of Wasson’s Pizza Hut piece, tying together many of its loose doctrinal ends and untying a number of others. Explicit commentary on mass production and the diffuse nature of contemporary information.

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